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Please Critique! I need opinions! (NARUTO SKIT)

Posted: Tue Aug 28, 2007 4:42 pm
by hp_naru_girl
This is just a little something me and my bff cooked up for a talent show, but If you guys like it we might introduce it to our club to do at an expo or con... Hope you enjoy! ^^

Rock Lee
Naruto 1
Naruto 2
Sasuke

Rock Lee enters with a look of determination on his face

Rock Lee: Welcome to the show. I am Rock Lee and I will be showing you a few things, with the help of my comrades. First, I am to show you the ultimate Taijutsu. This is stronger than if I opened all of the gates in my body, removed the weights from my ankles, and was praised by Gai-sensei. Naruto-kun!

Naruto 1 enters looking annoyed.

Naruto1: Can we just get this over with?

Rock Lee: Absolutely! *to the audience* I taught this to Naruto-kun also so that we could show you. Are you ready?

Both Naruto 1 and Rock Lee get into fighting stances

Rock Lee: Go!

Both do the ultimate Taijutsu** while standing three feet apart and not hitting one another. They are slowly moving towards each other. Eventually, Naruto 1 accidentally hits Rock Lee on his finger.

Rock Lee: Ow! That hurt! Gai-sensei! *runs off stage crying*

Naruto 1: Jeez, what a wimp! Ok, next is Genjutsu. I’m supposed to show you guys the whole shadow clone technique, but I kinda was doing a lot today, so I’m just gonna do one instead of five, ok? *puts hand behind head and grins sheepishly* You guys ready for the coolest thing you’ve ever seen? *does hand signs* Kage no Bunshin!

Naruto 2 runs on stage

Naruto 2: Hey, Naruto.

Naruto 1: Hey, Naruto- Hang on, why’re you taller than me?

Naruto 2: Umm…. Maybe you used too much chakra?

Naruto 1: No way! I wouldn’t do that… What the hell? Ero-sennin! *Naruto 1 runs off other side of stage, looking pissed*

Naruto 2: Umm, well, I guess he’s gonna be gone for a while, so I’ll show you a ninjutsu! This one is called-

Sasuke:*from off stage* Hey, usuratonkachi! *walks onstage*I’m supposed to do this part of the presentation!

Naruto 2: Oh, hey Sasuke-teme. *pouts defiantly*

Sasuke: What are you doing? I’m supposed to talk about this!

Naruto 2: Well, you weren’t here yet, so I thought-

Sasuke: Obviously you didn’t think. Get out of here, before I use this on you!

Naruto 2 frowns and runs off stage for a moment

Sasuke: Now, where were we? Right, I was gonna show you a ninjutsu. Well, to do this one-

Naruto 2 runs back on stage with a large cup of water

Sasuke: Hey, dobe, what are you doing?

Naruto 2: *looks at Sasuke for a moment then shouts, while pouring water on Sasuke’s head* Can’t do a fire jutsu if your wet! Ha ha!

Sasuke: *wipes his eyes and yells* Why you-

Sasuke chases Naruto off stage.

The curtain drops, the actors/actresses take their bows.


**The ‘Ultimate Taijutsu’ is when you just do that fake fighting thing with your hands. Flopping them around and just hitting fingertips and not really hurting each other.

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:55 pm
by Captain Izu
Anything with Rock Lee makes me happy. XD And you got his little speech patterns down pretty well. Right on!
Image

Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:52 pm
by hp_naru_girl
Thanks! ^^

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:24 pm
by Lyzi_Kira
aww I love it, it's so cute!!!
and the whole taller Naruto should be funny.
I was thinking that if the Sasuke you have is taller than Naruto 1, you should have him slay something to Naruto 2 like;

Sasuke:*from off stage* Hey, usuratonkachi! *walks onstage*I’m supposed to do this part of the presentation!

Naruto 2: Oh, hey Sasuke-teme. *blushes*

Sasuke: What are you doing? I’m supposed to talk about this! *quickly says* why are you taller than me!?!?

Naruto 2: *ignores sasuke's height comment* Well, you weren’t here yet, so I thought-

but that's just what I would add.
I hope you do preform this, it should be great!!!

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 5:13 pm
by hp_naru_girl
Lyzi_Kira wrote:aww I love it, it's so cute!!!
and the whole taller Naruto should be funny.
I was thinking that if the Sasuke you have is taller than Naruto 1, you should have him slay something to Naruto 2 like;

Sasuke:*from off stage* Hey, usuratonkachi! *walks onstage*I’m supposed to do this part of the presentation!

Naruto 2: Oh, hey Sasuke-teme. *blushes*

Sasuke: What are you doing? I’m supposed to talk about this! *quickly says* why are you taller than me!?!?

Naruto 2: *ignores sasuke's height comment* Well, you weren’t here yet, so I thought-

but that's just what I would add.
I hope you do preform this, it should be great!!!
thanks! ^^ I'll probably change it, that's a good idea! ^^

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2007 6:29 pm
by Lyzi_Kira
you're welcome ^^ ummm... where do you think you'll be performing this??? Cause I wanna see it so bad! I am like jumping up and down it sounds so cool!!!!

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2007 3:38 pm
by hp_naru_girl
Well.... I'm not sure yet.... First my anime club will have to raise money to get us to an expo or con, then we haveto sign up and everything.... And there don't seem to be any in the Midwest region, like, EVER!!!!! *cries emo tears* But, if you have a suggestion of somewhere, I can definitely bring it up yo my club. Also, we're planning on going to Anime Expo on Long Beach, so we might perform it outside there or in a side room. I doubt they'll let a bunch of teenagers onstage at America's biggest expo.... *sigh*

Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2007 4:14 pm
by vvinged
Haha, Funny.

I think it's cute!

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 12:21 pm
by Captain Izu
Anime Expo's in L.A. this year, which sucks. But anyway, if you pre-register and sign up to do your skit, of course they'll let you on stage. If not, give them a lotus blossom. LEE STYLE! :o

Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2007 4:44 pm
by hp_naru_girl
lol! Definitely!!

PS thanks for the compliment, vvinged

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:34 pm
by UzumakiRamen
haha, I know this post is one month old but if you're still looking for feedback, I think it's a pretty good skit. You won't have the curtain falling in the end though - masquerades just don't work that way.

they let bunches of teenagers on stage all the time. in fact, that's what most skits are composed of.. well, high schoolers to college students, I guess.

if you're doing this for Anime Expo, you would have to pre-record the lines onto a sound file so make sure you lip-sync your lines perfectly and that the acting (including the pre-recorded lines) doesn't seem like it came out of an educational video for middle schoolers (you know, like the kind where they try to make science experiments seem "cool"). I notice a lot of people tend to speak as if they were reading information rather than acting. and if your own voice doesn't sound much like the character you're doing, you can even get a friend to do it for you since all you have to do is lip-sync to it. :P

one last note to that pessimistic guy in the other post. the fact that AX is going to be in LA next year is FANTASTIC!!! so there...people are really starting to piss me off with all their complaints....

good luck with your skit!

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:01 am
by hp_naru_girl
Hey! Thanks, now I know what I need to do. By the way, I'm always looking for an opinion, no matter what. It could be five years from now, but if you say, 'Oh wow, good play!' I'm gonna say, 'Thanks! You know, I originally thought it up five years ago for a backyard talent show,' Because any compliment is better than no compliment... Right?